September 2002 By Philip Berk
For most of her young life Diane Lane lived a turbulent existence.
Torn between two combative parents — both in show business, who separated when she was fourteen days old — she spent her childhood in the theatre (part of New York’s famed La Mama Troupe), became a Time Magazine cover at 14, and a movie star at 16. Rejecting Hollywood fame and fortune, she worked selectively, with people like Francis Ford Coppola. Her eccentric choices took her to European locations where she met and married a French star, Christopher Lambert. Motherhood followed, divorce, and finally a return to Hollywood, where she worked in a number of undistinguished movies.
At the time I remember asking her if she was back to square one?
Obviously not happy with my question, she replied, “I don’t think so. I’m feeling a sense of liberation. I’ve made thirty-two movies. At this age you have to grab the bull by the horns and have a damn good time. I can’t sit around waiting to please everybody. That’s what I did after Cotton Club, I took two years off, because Francis (Coppola) said to me,‘You should only work for five directors,’ and I thought, ‘Oh my God, how nice for me if that ever was to come true.’ But let’s face it, there are thousands of new actresses coming in every day. I’m just grateful to work, grateful that I have some measure of respect from my peers.”
But was she happy with the way her career had evolved?
“I don’t believe we can design our own destiny. I don’t believe in controlling one’s fate or having the illusion of control. If you do, you’re going to be disappointed because in the end there is so little control. But I’m optimistic that the thirties will be much better than the twenties.”
How prophetic those words were!
After years of forgettable movies Diane suddenly blossomed in last year’s Unfaithful, for which she was nominated for an Oscar.
The one thing I’ve always loved about Diane is her ingenuous candor.
I remember when she was getting rave reviews for her work in Unfaithful, having seemingly gone places where no one else had gone before, she naively admitted that her most memorable scene in the film, wasn’t acting.
“The scene on the train when she fondly remembers her lovemaking was footage of me reminiscing about the day’s shooting. That scene wasn’t even in the script, but they used it that way.”
I warned Diane not to talk about it, and I guess she took my advice because it quickly became the most talked of moment in the film and the one which earned her her Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations.
Which essentially changed her life.
At her press conference for her latest film Under the Tuscan Sun she acknowledges that.
“I had no idea it was going to be THE movie; so when all that attention started to come my way and I had to appear at all those (award) functions, I was lucky I had a boyfriend to bring along. In the past I would bring my agent or my manager or my lawyer or my late dad.”
By boyfriend she’s referring to actor Josh Brolin, the man in her life.
The two of them are engaged, so you wonder why she doesn’t refer to him as her “fiance.” But can you blame her for being cautious considering this is her first “relationship” in the eight years since she divorced Lambert.
But surely, as a result, her stock must have risen?
“I do like the pay raise and I’m grateful I continue to work.”
Was that how she got the role in Under the Tuscan Sky?
“Actually I was at a dinner where Audrey Wells (the writer-director) told me I was her first choice for the film and I was very flattered.”
But her relationship with Josh began much earlier, right?
“We did have a whole year of anonymity, and that was lovely.”
And then he showed up unexpectedly at the Academy Awards?
“I wanted him with me at the Oscars to help get me through the night. I needed the support.”
How did they meet?
“I thought he was flirting with me at a restaurant. My girl friend who was with me agreed and fixed us up on a blind date.”
What are the things about him that she finds most attractive?
“He’s the most romantic person I ever met, and through knowing him I’ve become less shy with my romantic side. For so long I haven’t had any practice putting those feelings anywhere except in my imagination, but now I have a place to put it, and it’s great. I get to remember all the things I thought were great ideas, and now I have somebody to give them to.”
How romantic was he in proposing?
“It was very private, just the two of us, although he had the ring for a while. He carried it with him. I didn’t know this till afterwards. Later I found out it had been a conspiracy and a lot of people were involved. Meanwhile I was going to give him three years, and then an ultimatum, but then I extended it to five.”
Stopping herself she characteristically adds, “I don’t know where that came from. I must have read it somewhere in an article.”
How important was it that their two families bond?
“It was very important for our families to come together if only because my daughter has her father and Josh’s children have their mother. But the children are very quick to adapt much more so than the adults. And it’s wonderful because Josh and (ex-husband) Christopher are friends from a long time ago, and I really adore the mother of Josh’s children. She’s a wonderful example of a great mother. So it couldn’t be better. We strengthen each other, we cover each other, and we help each other.”
Aren’t his children older?
“His son is older, but the two girls are the same age.”
And both she and Josh have similar ideas on parenting?
“Actually we are different, but we appreciate each other’s differences. I’m a little introverted, he’s more extroverted than I am. I needed that, and my daughter appreciates that because he’s a lot of fun and very vivacious.”
So what type of wedding are they planning?
“I know I want the children there, and I’d like my mother there. I am not a fan of (wedding) rehearsals. There’s so much of that in our life. That’s what we do for a living, although I realize it needs some planning. I have a lot of questions that have to do with the children. We’ve got three in three different schools. It involves more than just the two of us. The first time I got married it was on a road trip with a borrowed dress in a town where you didn’t need a blood test. The real estate agent who sold us our house was the only witness. I think we’ll do a more proper wedding rather than a Justice of the Peace.”
Under the Tuscan Sky was filmed in Italy. Did Josh visit her there?
“He came over once with the children, but he was filming at the time, and I was very glad that he was in L.A. because I was away and so was Christopher (who lives in Los Angeles) which meant that it put Josh in the position of really getting to know my daughter very well. They had that period of time together. He got to be the primary parent for my daughter. And that was miraculous.”
What was it like working in Italy?
“It’s the most romantic place I’ve ever been to for that length of time — three months, and to be away from my family in such a beautiful place and being so homesick, it was challenging because nobody really cared. ‘You’re in Tuscany. You have no right to complain about anything.’ So I got no pity, no sympathy. I did get my mother to come over, and my family came over for Thanksgiving because Audrey created a nice Thanksgiving for everybody.”
Is there anything about Italy she particularly misses?
“I miss the Italians. I like their priorities. Americans in comparison are workaholics. We’re into our gross national product and our productivity. We’re always working, always on our cell phones. We’re in our car. We eat in fast food restaurants. We raise our children in the real view mirror. I feel like we have no time off. The Italians on the other hand… People have said to me, ‘How did you not gain wait in Italy?’ I told them, ‘Americans eat like PacMan.’ They eat all day. If you ate Italian food like an American you’d explode. In Italy they get together, they have these wonderful three hour meals. They have these great arguments and discussions about politics and religion and everything in their culture. They’re passionate and they make you feel connected, and it all happens over food with all those wonderful ingredients. But then they don’t eat for five hours. And you get empty as a drum! I don’t know how they do it. My sugar level crashes, and I need carbohydrates. On our set there was no craft services; so when the food finally did come, I stopped everything. I said I am not going to talk. I just want to eat.” So that’s how I stayed thin. My theory anyway.”
In the film she plays a divorcee starting a new life in Italy.
Did the character rekindle memories of her own divorce?
“My character in the film was completely surprised and shocked and traumatized by her husband’s infidelity and the sudden divorce. In my case it was a slow process of realizing that it wasn’t going to work out. That’s very different, and having a child out of the relationship and saying we’re always going to be friends because we have this job (of parenting) to do is totally different. But one thing we share is the insecurity that comes from once having said ‘forever’ and then having to say ‘Well, maybe not.’ I was eager to get a chance to portray that. I felt very much at home in her awkwardness and in her feeling embarrassed, so making the film was a gift to me.”
Her first experience as an actress was in a production of Medea when she lied about her age
“I said I was seven — you had to be at least seven to work in the theatre, I was six.”
Looking back, was that a positive experience for her?
“For me it was very free and liberating. Later I got into judging myself and worrying what people thought. But my dad always taught me, ‘You can never do anything in your life if you worry too much.”
Not every kid becomes part of a theatre company at six.
“For me leaving home at six, traveling in Europe with a theatre company, was an amazing, magical time. They became my surrogate family, and I got to see the world from different points of view. That was an earlier wake-up call than most adults would have recommended, but I believe children are more open than adults; they can absorb information quickly.
“I remember running out of stamp space in my passport before I was eleven because we had played at so many theatre festivals all over Europe. I remember performing in the ruins of Persepoli, when Queen Farah was in the audience and after the show she kissed me. ‘Mom, I’ve been kissed by a queen’ That’s the gift of childhood. There is no horizon. Traveling at that age was amazing.”
Was she ever lonely?
“I had so many surrogate parents, people would take turns caring for me. I would ask, ‘Can Patrick take are of me today?’ No, he’s got a girlfriend. Why don’t you try Lois. By the time we got to Amsterdam, Patrick wouldn’t have a girlfriend, so I’d get to ride on his shoulders. It was just a great family time. I am just so grateful to my parents — it was really my father — who gave me that independence. In some ways, childhood is slightly overrated. We protect our children from taking responsibility. But being on my own gave me a great sense of the work ethic. I had to show up every day. I had to know my lines. I had to go to school. At the time, I might have felt sorry for myself because I missed Christmas and rock concerts, but now I’m really glad I did.”
Looking back on her 38 years, does she have any regrets?
“I wish I had enjoyed the moment more. I remember being so insecure at eighteen, and I wonder why. Was it a teenage thing or a female thing, I don’t know. It’s only just lately that I’ve started to relax and enjoy where I am now.”
Has her daughter inherited her genes?
“I think she’s a very distilled version. Yeah, she’s got it.”
Would she encourage her to act?
“I’d prefer she not have to make a living with her face. There are so many others things to think about than worrying about what you look like.”
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