Gwyneth Paltrow – Long ago and far away

June 2005 By Philip Berk

She once personified glamor and high fashion.

Now Gwyneth Paltrow’s the paradigm of domesticity and motherhood.

In New York to promote her new film Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (in which she’s re-teamed with Jude Law)  suddenly she’s wholesome, healthy,  serene and obviously still nursing her three month old baby.

How has motherhood changed her? I ask her.

Jokingly she replies, “Should I talk about my breasts?” 

Why not.

“I sort of have this body, which I feel is not mine. But there’s something really lovely about that, as my husband put it so succinctly in the joke-song he wrote. ‘Your cup’s gone from an A to D. That’s bad for you, but it’s fun for me.”

Fill us in on the joke song, 

“I had a bachelorette weekend in England with my best girlfriends in England, and then my best girlfriends from America flew over to surprise me because when we got married it was just the two of us. So they said, ‘We need to have a party for you. And as a surprise one night we were sitting there, and they put on a DVD which my husband had made.  It was a joke- song and video where he was was dressed up to look like Darkness or Spinal Tap, and it was about my mood swings and my boobs growing from A to D and what I ate. It was just hilarious,  and they put it on the Coldplay website for a couple of days so hardcore fans could get to see it,  but it was funny.”

Coldplay of course is her husband’s band. Her husband Chris  Martin is its lead singer-song writer.

Asked if he has any imperfections, she answers, “No.”

So he’s the perfect man?

“Yeah,” she smiles.

Who wears the pants?

“I’m the girl; he’s the man. I definitely don’t box him around. He’s a very strong man”

Which (of his songs) is her favorite?

”I have a lot of them. From the first album I love Spark and Everything’s Not lost. And Amsterdam from his last one, Clock.”

Has motherhood changed her?

“I think motherhood has changed me profoundly.  I’m very much in the moment, very fulfilled, very content. I’ve never felt as content in my entire life as I am now.”

What surprised her most?

“The immediacy and the depth of how much I loved my daughter the second I saw her. It just absolutely astonished me. Of course I knew I would love her while I was pregnant, but you have no concept until you’re holding her in your arms. It’s just unbelievable. It floors me every day that I could have such feelings for a human being. I’ve never had that before, It’s surprising.” 

Was she able to stay with her macrobiotic diet during the pregnancy?

“As Chris’s song attests, I fell totally off the wagon, but I’m back on it.”

What will happen when Apple (that’s her daughter’s name) is slightly older and  wants a Happy Meal from McDonald’s?

“That might be going too far, but if she wants chocolate chip cookies and stuff like that, that’s fine. A Happy Meal might be pushing it.”

How strict will she be in general?

“It’s important that a child has boundaries. I think it creates a sense of safety and stability. I just want her to be happy, nice to people, and have good manners. But I am not going to be overly strict.”

Would she raise her different to the way her parents raised her?

“I think I’ll raise her much the same way. I was always exposed to art as I traveled a lot, which  is likely to happen in the first few years of her life. I really thrived on it, and my parents especially my father always told me I was special. He made my brother and me feel good about ourselves, always. I think that’s a very important thing, not to be judgmental of your child, to respect  who she is as opposed to who you want her to be. I don’t think I’ll deviate much from that.” 

She reportedly  smoked 90 cigarettes a day?

“I used to, yeah.”

Not any more?

“No not anymore.  I quit when I was twenty-four. Once in a while I’ll have one when I’m at a party. I haven’t had one since I found out I was pregnant.”

Apple is named after her mother (actress Blythe Donner) 

How did they choose the names?

“Her daddy named her. He said, ‘If we have a girl she should be called Apple,’ and I just loved what it conjured up, so sweet and lovely. And then he said, Apple Blythe Allison, which I thought so beautiful because he had named her after each of her grandmothers.”

How often does her mom see the baby?

“She flew to London when she was born, and then a month later I flew to Los Angeles with Apple. Then we were separated for a while, while she was filming. She’s been very busy, but then we went back to California again . We spent a week together, and it was fantastic. Apple’s only three months old, and she has seen her three times so it’s pretty good.”

What is her favorite apple?

“Fuji apple,” she replies without a second thought.

Obviously she’s been asked that question before.

We’ve read that she’s a very stylish mother.  

Does she enjoy dressing her up?

“Oh yes, it’s so much fun. I dress her in all sorts of things. She’s got little jeans I love to put her in. There are so many beautiful baby clothes. A lot of the French ones are just amazing.”

And they’ll live in London? 

“We’ll probably spend a little more time in America than we will in London. We’ll be traveling a lot, so those are our two home bases.”

I understand she has a relationship to Chinese medicine?

“I think it’s phenomenal. I’ve been using it for a long time. I really like alternative medicines. It’s a great way to stay healthy without the need for surgery or antibiotics. Of course it all depends on the person or the problem you have. But I was surprised at the attention it’s drawn recently.” 

How so?

“I’ve had acupuncture for years, and I’ve done (suction) cups for years. I’m a little forgetful because I’ve been breast feeding, and I went to a screening with a good friend Christina Applegate. I wanted to support her movie (Anchorman) and I had forgotten about the bruises (caused by the cups) until I got in the car.  At which time I wondered, Would the press  make a big thing about it?  Don’t worry, they said. And there it was on the front page of the New York Post!  Isn’t  there something more important going on in the world! And then to suggest I was involved in some ritualistic  practice! I was like, Come on, I’m just trying to — there’s a side of me that thinks it’s ridiculous, and then there’s a side that thinks Chinese medicine has really helped me. So if I can bring attention to other people, maybe it’s a positive.”

In Sky Captain she plays a journalist.

The New York Post aside, what does she think of journalists?

“I have a lot of respect for journalists. I think it’s an incredibly important and respectable profession. Obviously there’s a certain type of journalist I don’t appreciate,” she jokes. “I really liked playing one, even though she was kind of sneaky.”

And the paparazzi?

“They can be tough sometimes. I kind of put them in two categories. There’s the paparazzi  who show up where they know you’ll be there, they get their shot and they leave you alone. But then there’s the type of paparazzi  that stalks you, sit outside your house 24 hours a day, they chase you in cars, they’re aggressive, and that’s where I draw the line, especially having a small baby.  I don’t think it’s appropriate  to be chasing a woman with an infant. I think it’s dangerous and irresponsible. I consider it harassment. I deal with it as best I can. I try not to get upset,  but now I videotape them in case I have to build a case against somebody who’s endangering my child.”

The character she plays is inspired by icons of the forties.

Which ones did she have  in mind?

“I thought of Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not and Katharine Hepburn. That sort of sassy 40’s woman with lipstick and high heels. It was a really wonderful period for women in film because they were allowed to be strong. There was a definite sexuality even though it wasn’t overt. Women characters were powerful and witty. But I didn’t study one particular person. I  borrowed the aromas of these women. I tried to evoke that feeling.”

The entire film  was shot in front of a blue screen with new technology that made it possible for the backgrounds and sets to be added later. 

She won’t be paid until the film shows a profit.

What convinced her to do the film?

“To be honest I’d do anything with Jude (Law.) He’s so fantastic, and we have such a good working relationship. And he was also the producer.”

I understand he turned her down!

“He’s kidding if he told you that. They showed me the demo tape (of the new  technology),  and I said, ‘Okay,  I’ll do it.’ He said ‘No, you have to read the script.’ First I said, ‘No, I don’t need to,’  And they said, ‘Just read the script!’ And so I read it, and I said ‘Okay.’ I’d still do it.”

Isn’t Jude obscenely handsome? 

“He is a lot prettier than I am,” she jokes. “Sometimes you just stare at him and think ‘Wow, that’s pretty amazing.’ He’s gorgeous and also a gorgeous person. And he’s a great, sensitive father. I think he’s just as good on the inside as he is on the out.side ”

His ex-wife co-produced the film

Was that an awkward situation on the set?

“Not for a minute. They both behaved incredibly well, even though they were sort of splitting up while we were doing the film. All I can say is they were both incredibly professional. I’m friends with both of them, they’re great people. They never brought their differences onto the set.”

Was it her idea to get close friend (and Paul’s daughter) Stella McCartney to design the costumes?

“It was both our ideas, Sadie and me. She said, ‘We should get a fashion costume designer to design the wardrobe.’  I thought it was such a perfect idea so I said, ‘We gotta get Stella, because her tailoring is so incredible, and she’s so creative.”, 

As a new mother will she choose her roles more carefully?

“I’ve always been open to any kind of project. Becoming a mother won’t change that.”

How soon will she return to work?

“I  can’t imagine myself  going back very soon. I am happy right now being a mother,  Eventually I will want to go back, and I’ll try to stay open minded and not pass judgment on whatever decision I make. I’ll try not to feel guilty. But one thing I know, I won’t do anything just for the sake of working. It’ll take a lot of money to take me away from my daughter.”

There was talk of her playing Marlene Dietrich?

“That’s something that was brought to me before I was pregnant.  I still am interested because she had such an amazing life. I’m waiting for the script which is being written. It would be for my production company and I don’t envision  working on that very soon.”

When is soon?

‘Six, nine months, maybe a year. Right now I wouldn’t sign on to do a big movie, say tomorrow.”

Amid all the flurry, she makes no mention of Proof, coming out later in the year, which should  earn her an Academy Award nomination!

She has the role Mary Louise Parker originated on Broadway. 

Parker wasn’t happy when Gwyneth was cast. 

In New York last year she told me, “It was hurtful the way the playwright dealt with it, especially after you do it at a reading, you do it off-Broadway, and you carry it to Broadway. It would have been nice had he come to me and said, ‘I’m selling the rights without you attached.’ But he didn’t do that. That was really hurtful, and you do kind of feel like shit.”  

(I should have humored her with Billy Wilder’s comment about Marilyn Monroe’s tardiness on the set of Some Like It Hot: When asked why he tolerated it, he replied, “My Aunt Esther is always punctual, but she doesn’t sell tickets at the box office.”)

In an earlier interview (2000) she had this to add:

Ever since winning her Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, she’s been the target of negative press. 

So how does she deal with it?

“I  try to ignore it  by surrounding myself with friends who don’t come up to me and say, ‘Hey there’s something really mean about you in the New York Post today.’ Obviously there are people out there who resent you, but it’s like out of my hands. I can’t change them. All I can do is my work, the best job I’m capable of, and forget the rest.” 

Is there someone she can turn to?

“My best friend Mary, or my mom and my dad. But when you’re hurt, the only thing you can do, is wait it out. Do productive things, keep yourself busy, exercise, and try to take care of yourself. Time is the best cure.”

Is that why she changed the colour of her hair?

“Not for a moment. I did it  for Bounce. The director (Don Roos who made The Opposite of Sex) wanted me to have a change. I think he was tired of the blonde Gwyneth Paltrow, and I was tired of her too, so I retired her for a while.”

Did it help?

“It made my life a little bit easier. I can walk around New York without getting recognized, hop on and off the subway without anybody knowing who I am, and that’s been a really fun aspect.”

Has public attention changed her opinion of fame and success?

“I don’t know. I’d like to keep an open mind because sometimes it seems like a friend, and other times it can be an enemy. It’s very difficult. When you become successful, an incredible amount of wonderful things comes along. You get to travel everywhere; there are lots of benefits. But it’s horrible when people invade your privacy and people aren’t respectful of you as a human being. It can make your relationships more difficult; but like everything else, it’s always changing. I just hope I can keep it in a positive light.”

In Bounce she plays someone who is manipulated and deceived. 

Has that ever happened to her?

“Unfortunately, yes. But the interesting thing that comes out of that situation is ‘What is there about me that made me vulnerable to this person or this situation?’ Instead of blaming the other person, I try to take responsibility for what I did to make myself so vulnerable. In this business you come across a lot of  people who aren’t totally above board; so you learn to trust your instincts.”  

And has it helped?

“I’m basically a pretty trusting person so it occasionally gets me into trouble, but I think I have pretty good instincts about people. Although I have been wrong, definitely I’ve been wrong, but only because I didn’t fully trust myself. So the lesson is, listen to your instincts. Whenever I’ve had a funny feeling about somebody, I’ve told myself I was not giving that person a chance, but it always turns out I was right; so listen to your instinct ”

The great love of her life has been her father.

Has that relationship changed over the years?

“Not really. After I became successful it was my parents and my brother that grounded me. They kept me really centered, and they’ve never treated me differently. They’ve never freaked because of what’s happened to me. They’re very decent, solid people, and when I was growing up, my father was the most wonderful father in the world. He was always patient and loving, and I can remember when he would come from work — I was a little girl  — we would build blocks together. And when my mother was working in the theater or on a set, he would give me a bath, wash my hair, dry my hair.

“The best story I can remember was when I was was ten years old. My mother was shooting a film in London, and my brother and my father and I went there during spring vacation to visit her. My father said, ‘Okay Jake and mom are going to spend a special weekend together in the country, so you and I are going to have a special weekend — in Paris.’ I had never been there before. We went all over. He let me eat whatever I wanted — French fries and coke for breakfast — and we had a great time. We visited  museums, and on the plane back to London he told me, ‘You know why I took you to Paris, just you and I?  Because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with a man who will always love you no matter what.”

Obviously it’s going to be tough finding someone like that? Would she settle for  anything less?

“It’s tough when you have men in your life like my brother, my father, and my grandfather who are sensitive, bright, articulate, funny, strong, and responsible. 

(She still talks about her grandfather as though he were alive.)

“Maybe it’s something I need to overcome. Maybe that’s my lesson because you never know what’s in store for you. But the one indispensable quality I think is respect. I definitely need somebody who’s respectful of women.”

Her parents have had a long marriage. 

Are they her role model?

“I’m lucky to have been raised by two people who are still happily married. In fact, they just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. They’re my model for family, for a relationship.”

So marriage is important to her? 

“I’d prefer to get married rather than have a series of monogamous relationships, but I would also hope that  people will start  taking marriage more seriously, Instead of going their separate ways, they should try to work things out. That’s what my parents did. They worked it out, and they’re happy.”

Would she like to have children?

“I do want to have children, definitely.” 

Has she become more cautious regarding relationships? (after her high profile break-ups with both Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck)


“I am a cautious person in relationships. I just haven’t found the right person. “


And if she found the right person? ”


“Would I be brave enough to take that risk, to give myself fully to somebody, to make the sacrifices that you need to make, to risk being that vulnerable. I’d like to think I would. I’d be very cautious, but I think I’d be able to do it.”


Is she a risk taker?


“In my personal life I’m not at all, but in my professional life I’m willing to do anything, take any risk. I think I’m up to the challenge. I would do anything, go anywhere, learn any language, jump out of a plane, if it was for something that makes me feel artistically fulfilled as opposed to just doing movie after movie.”


She still cherishes her for her father.How important is that for daughters?


“All I can say is the women I knw who are really close to their fathers, who had really supportive and loving fathers, they seem to regard themselves in a more positive light than those who had difficulty with their fathers. I grew up feeling incredibly loved and nourished.”

Do her parents ever pressure her to get married and start a family?

“In America there is that pressure to get married and to have children, especially among ethnic groups. On my father’s side, all my cousins are Jewish, and God forbid they don’t get married by the time they’re twenty three. That’s particularly true of Manhattan where there’s a real sense of family and where family is so important.”

Does she have any health hints, follow any particular diet?

“I avoid eating foods that are genetically altered or have chemicals added. I prefer organic food. I don’t eat meat, but I eat fish and birds if they’re organic and have no hormones added. I only eat chicken if it’s farm raised, healthy chicken, because they put so many awful things in it in America.”

And does she enjoy cooking?

“Actually I do. And my friends say I’m a pretty good cook. I just like the whole process of it. I find it cathartic to go to the market, wash everything, prepare it, chop it and cook it. I like having people over. I like having small groups for dinner. For me that’s the idea of a real fun night.”

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